This might sound like weird advice, but hear me out. The absolute best way to deal with negative energy coming from individuals who, for whatever reason, have acted unkindly towards you is to …. generate good thoughts about them. Yes, love thy hater! Despite the fact that they have done you wrong in some way, focus on any positive qualities you can think of about that person. This might seem like a little bit of challenge at first. After all, they haven’t been very nice to you, so how are you supposed to focus on their goodness?? And, why should you? But, if you can start to view these people as not knowing any better, similar to children, you will be able to feel compassion towards them in understanding that they are struggling with a tough time or have not yet completely found their way. Feeling compassionate instead of slighted, angry, or hurt, is going to work towards YOUR benefit, big time.
So, what do I know about haters? Not too much, I hope!! But, sometimes it just comes with the territory, as most strong women I know can relate to this. We have opinions that we don’t waiver on because we know what we stand for. We are comfortable in our own skin. We celebrate our uniqueness and don’t try to fit into a mold just to blend in or be accepted. We are passionate, driven, and not afraid to work really hard and follow our dreams. I think these are all great qualities in a human, especially a woman (go girl!)! But, these same qualities can also rub some people the wrong way at times. It’s just human nature. When somebody is having their own internal struggles, it’s not always comforting to see somebody else who seemingly has it going on. (Keyword is seemingly. Nobody’s path is without struggle, but not everyone can see or appreciate that truth). While I think we all want to celebrate each other, sometimes even wonderful people have difficulty doing this when they are, in fact, hurting in some way and/or having trouble seeing their own inner-beauty. Even if not completely intentional, they might act out in a negative way, even towards people that they care about, as a way to deal with their own internal feelings. When somebody is having trouble bringing themselves up, it’s just easier for them to try to bring others down as a “coping” strategy.
Disclaimer: Now, if you have legitimate haters – meaning you screwed somebody over in some way or acted unkindly towards them – well, this doesn’t exact apply to you. (And, you should probably get to apologizing and trying to mend those relationships. Seriously, you will feel better!). But, if you are a kind and wonderful person (and I know you are!), than most of the time, any animosity coming from said “haters” has very little to do with you and everything to do with them. Remember that. And, they probably don’t even mean to be sucky towards you. They’re just having a tough time with things and your rainbows and sunshine are really pissing them off right now!
But, whatever you do, do not let this person suck you down into their negative vortex!! Don’t start to question yourself and your intentions. And, most certainly do not change the essence of “you” to try to accommodate them and whatever issues they might be having. In other words, don’t ever even think about tucking away your rainbows and sunshine to make room for somebody else’s stormy grey skies. There is nothing more tragic than compromising or shrinking yourself due to somebody else’s insecurities. Mean people suck. Yes, they do. But, remember, it is them, not you. That is why it is important to generate good thoughts about this person. These kind thoughts will keep you from getting sucked into their world and allowing them to take control of your emotions. Just by acknowledging that they are human, that they are suffering in some way, and they are doing the best that they can is going to help you to drum up some compassion and not let them get under your own skin. Negativity can be super-contagious, and you don’t want those thoughts seeping into your head to the point where you start questioning your own awesome self. You have worked too hard and come too far for that! Focus on the positive and keep on, keeping on.
Chances are the “hater” will come around. If they don’t, well, they are not meant to be in your life. And, that’s okay too! And, when all else fails, just remember this quote by Paulo Coelho, “Haters are confused admirers who can’t understand why everybody else likes you.” So, go on and love your admirers, especially the confused ones – they are the ones who need it the most!
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